Life's Dead End..
It comes, those moments of epiphany where I'd retrospect and ponder on the countless non-reversible erratums which I made through out my life. Honestly, these moments visit me without fail almost each and every night, and every time when I see or hear stories of peer's success. These moments of truth set me knocking my head telling how actually I COULD HAVE been in their shoes, or even way better... In simpler words, deep down inside, there's a huge part of REGRET that perhaps could never be cured. Even if it could, it would prolly concur over a certain period of time but then again that's kinda impossible cause there's a huge obstruction to things from now till the future..
I regret PROCRASTINATING, when I knew being punctual was the ultimatum..
I regret BEING LAZY, when I knew I was more intellectual than the hardworking..
I regret FEELING INFERIOR, when I knew nobody really cares who or what you bloody are..
I regret QUITTING, when I knew I could have been part of the elite squad and worked my way up my ladder of sweet success..
I regret GIVING UP, when I knew I could have been the best..
I regret my SINFUL DESIRE, when I knew I had perfect solid pious foundation which all went down the train and succumbed to unforgivable vices..
I regret GIVING IN, when I knew I had 19 years power of abstination..
There's just so much regret I got to account for. Each morning, I wake up to a sad "WHAT IF?" or a useless "IF ONLY..". These moments never fail to visit me each every solitary moment, like how I'm feeling now.. HE'S not around, and oh yeah another thing I got to add, friends come and go, don't they? Wonder what my bestfriend of 12 years is doing at the moment? Sometimes I feel that life's mice race really widens the friendship gap. Everyone's so busy and caught up in life's own traffic, that it gets real lonely at times. Sometimes your only source of solace is dear beloved PILLOW, who'd listen to your woes before you sleep and drown in your painful tears, cause it's just so hard to find someone who would always be there for you. It's even so hard to meet over a cup of coffee just to catch up with each other. How sad is that..?
And then comes FAMILY. Seriously, I do feel the drastic change over the years. Things aren't as easy and happy dandy as before. Question : Is it ME or is it THEM? I don't know. So much emotions tag along issues of family, but you know what? At least I am thankful to god that I still come home to a nice cosy home with a MUM who cooks for me, a DAD who is responsible, and a SISTER and a BROTHER who enlightens up the house. That complete family is PRICELESS..
Sometimes I wonder what awaits me next? Every new day is a new surprise for me, be it good or bad. Still living my life in countless regrets though, and don't bother soothing me cause it's just more like rubbing it in.
