Her.
Yeah you admitted it, your ego is so damn high. Don't think with your money you can take charge over my life. I will prove to you that I can survive without your help. FYI, I am the smarter one here. You're just LUCKY, alright. Don't be proud and complacent of whatever riches you have boy. And when you compared me to the impossible just now, let me tell you a secret. I went to the toilet and cried as loud as i can inside the cubicle. Damn that toilet auntie must have got a shock of her life. But of course my ego chose to level up to yours. I managed to appear in front of you unaffected and unscathed. Though only god knows how much I was erupting inside. Fuck lah I just hate it when you do that.
Somehow or rather, SADLY, I wish that you're just gone. Gone for good. Since you exude that arrogant aura of "I CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU". But then again, that stinking aura most of the time comes crashing into pieces. Just with a tinge of my ignorance or indifference. How to not love you. You're like a switch : ON - Extremely nice,OFF - BIG MEANIE. But I love you so much. And nobody will ever know all the real mishaps we go through.
Wait, let m recall who is the brunt of all the mishaps. Other than main characters you and me, it is HER. Sigh.
She's the one I love most yet she is the one who disappoints me the most. ALL THE TIME. Where was she when I was sick? Where was she when I was hungry? Where was she when I needed somebody to talk to? Where was she when I was at my downest moment? Where was she during my 21st birthday? Where was she when I needed her the most? Where was she when I needed somebody to defend me? Where was she when I needed a hug? P.S : I can feel saltwater welling up in my eyes already.
And they say blood is thicker than water. I guess the thicker it gets, the heavier the burden gets. I just miss her so much, nobody in this world understand or can fathom how much I badly yearn for her touch, her warmth, her kiss, her voice, her care. Can I just say there's a Great Wall of China between me and her?
On a sidenote, I've been contemplating to diminish this almost non-existant and long abandoned blog. But then again, I think writing is my form of escapade. Hell, I miss writing. Yeah balls, maybe I should just start writing again. At least if no one can understand my feelings, I'm sure this humble space does.
