Facades are in fashion.

who will have the last laugh?

2010-03-12T07:49:00.001+08:00

Have I just been victimised? Defeated? I guess not. It's tickling me to no end, really. Think with your brains and not with your eyebrows darling. :)

- See..I Ain't Like U.I Use Real Names & I Ain't Two-Faced.Not Happy?Let's Settle This Personally Then Fucktard!
- I Guess Your Mom Gave Birth To U From Her Anal That's Why U Have A Mouth Full Of Shit,Right Rab?
- Empire Nenek Ko Pe Yg Akn Last?Tkmo Step Bring It On..Dah Kena Sebat Nanti Nangis Sembunyi Bwh Ketiak Bdk Gemok. (=
- Sia2 Parents Ko Kasi Nama Yg Mulia Noor Rabiatul Adawiyah Tpi Hati Ko Busuk..Mulot Jahat Plak Tuhh.Eww..
- Its Hilarious That She Don't Dare Say It To My Face.Umor 23 IQ Mcm YP 13 Thn.Grow Up Bitch!
- Kelakar Sakk Laki Ako Ni.Org Bbl Burok Blakang2,Ako Lagik Bole Lek.Dia Cemburu Life Ako Exciting.LOL!
- Chucky Said,"Blang Tuhh Anak Sundal Tkmo Step Knl I.Skali I Tampar Muka Dia Nama Mak Bapak Dia Pon Dia Lupa."
- Chucky Is Fucking Pissed With That Rotten Foul Mouth Fish Cos Apparently She Says She Knows Chucky.
- Dah Test Water Beh Tknk Try.Tkmo Risau..Ni Iva Seii,Just A Minahrep.Tkde Pape Nyer..Siapa Cepat Dia Dpt Kays. :D
- Nk Tunjok Perangai Minah Dlm Net?Dah Ako Depan2 Ko Pe Lagik..Claim Personal Arh.Takot Tk Jejak Dam Pe..Haha!!
- Asl Sial Tkle Tgk Ako Eye To Eye Kt Keje?Dlm Comp Byk Bbl Mcm Mak Joojat.Depan2 Kejong Pe Whye..

LOL.

exit.

2010-02-11T00:06:00.001+08:00

Suddenly, walking out the door seems like a good idea.

a new moon.

2010-02-07T03:02:00.004+08:00

Little did I realise that it has been almost a year that I abandoned this space!

Reading the past entries chuckled me.

Or should I say it's a revelation? That current shit is not that shitty after all? Or was it the young emotional perpetually angst ridden teen talking? God knows.

And god willing, the muse is mine AGAIN. Till when? God knows.

But one thing for sure - I'm back. ;)

t-r-y

2009-02-19T01:47:00.002+08:00

How long more?

How much more?

I cannot take this anymore..

The harder I try, the more I live in self-denial..

game over.

2008-12-20T03:45:00.001+08:00

the heart is even harder than a stone.

Goodbye.

bleakety bleak..

2008-12-10T00:59:00.001+08:00

GOD will decide and time will tell...

Time changes things and time will heal things too..

And.. Only Smarties have the answer...

God..

2008-12-08T01:20:00.000+08:00

Only god knows how much i love EWE....

Salam Aidil Adha..

snap back to reality.

2008-12-06T00:39:00.001+08:00

Seriously, who gives a damn when you are broke, sick, lonely, sad, down and depressed?

N-O-B-O-D-Y

one after another..

2008-10-28T23:35:00.001+08:00

Loser ke kiter?

Kiter ke loser?

Suway ke kiter?

Kiter ke suway?

Attitude ke kiter?

Kiter ke attitude?

2nd

2008-10-26T03:17:00.002+08:00

Here's a toast for TWO.

I hope THREE will not be crowd.

And I think I'm gonna get a heart attack real soon. Hmmm..

WRONG side of the bed.

2008-10-09T21:19:00.003+08:00

8 Signs to know that your day had been HORRIBLE :

1. You woke up late for work (tell me something new -_-) BUT only to realise that you are locked IN the house because your sibling accidentally brought your house keys to school and there's NO ONE at home and there's no spare key anywhere in the house.

2. You forgot to insert your cashcard in your IU unit and you went through TWO freaking ERP gantries. :(

3. You reached work late and the penalty is to sing your country's NATIONAL ANTHEM to everyone in the office (including the Regional Manager and Director -_-).

4. Your cup noodles which you bought for lunch accidentally spilled onto your bike..

5. ..followed by a cup of Coke spilled onto your corduroy pants.

6. You got yourself into a stupid silly accident and amazingly you were perfectly alright however your bike is BADLY scratched and the cost of repair would cost about $300.

7. You reached home finally for some peace but your stupid neighbour was having some very NOISY renovation works going on.

8. You were suddenly attacked with SEVERE migraine which got you vomiting and shitting non stop and your head hurts as hell.

And I thought 8 was a lucky number?

Give me painkillers. NOW.

Tersepit..

2008-10-05T23:19:00.004+08:00

Pain - I'm still NOT immune to it.

Ditelan mati mak, diluah mati bapak... Whatever it is aku tetap mati..

Bila dektu dah ok, dekni pulak buat hal. Bila dekni ok, dektu pulak buat hal.

Sampai bila mau ni macam????

if only i can rewind time..

2008-10-04T02:21:00.001+08:00

You dont miss your water till the well runs dry
But I believe so strongly with you and I
Can somebody answer me the question why?
You dont miss your water till the well runs dry

As I close my eyes, sit back while reminiscing
Of when we used to fuss and fight but end up kissing
There may be sad and painful times along the way
But in my heart you'll always be everything and more to me

Till we meet again....

how how how??

2008-09-24T15:03:00.003+08:00

Some things bothering me..

1. I seriously NEED to clean my room but I do not know where/how to start!!

2. Facebook's the in shit thing right? But I don't even know how to use it lah. Sigh. Kental ke aku..

3. My favourite SNICKERS gonna be removed from the shelves due to milk scandal?? That's sad. Really sad..

Argh..

jangan macam paham..

2008-08-29T12:37:00.003+08:00

Sahmekom, kepada seorang KENALAN..
(bukan KAWAN sebab kite tak anggap awak sebagai KAWAN)

Tolonglah jangan macam paham pasal kite sebab kite tak pernah masuk campur hal hidup awak. Lagipun kite dah 2 tahun tak contact each aler, jadi kenape awak bual pasal kite macam awak hari2 update pasal hidup kite? And awak kepo2 nak bilang orang pasal kisah silam kite tu apasal? Awak kenal kite dengan rapat ke? Awak tahu ke apa isi hati kite? Susah senang kite apa awk tahu? Kite bukan apa, kite tahu ah kiter popular.. hehe. Tapi awak nak bual pasal kite dengan blood sister kite?

Senang kata kite makin venci lah dengan awak ni. Dulu memang benci sekarang lebih benci.

Awak.. kite nak mintak favour boleh?

Please go RILEK ONE CORNER.

P.S : Dan sememangnye kite pangkah teman2 dari kaum awak ni. GELAP ah masa depan.. (pun intended..)

Yang benar,
Rabberrduck.

gulap gulita.

2008-08-27T10:39:00.003+08:00

Malas ah nak type panjang-panjang atau dalam perfect English. Either aku ni dah semakin bodoh dan dah tak reti nak type panjang lebar atau ada writer's block atau memang dasar pemalas. Tapi to cut it short, aku benci. Pasal macam2 bende lah.

Contoh macam :

mana dengan orang kasi aku harapan tinggi melangit sekali tap tup jatuh boy... padan muka aku. sampai sekarang dan sampai bila2 pon consperm kesannya tidak akan hilang.

mana dengan orang nak berkira dengan aku yang sesungguhnya tak pelokek. dah pelokek, pastu nak gi pautoh kat mak die pulak tu. KNNCCB.

mana dengan air dicincang tidak akan putus tapi jantung and tali pusat aku boleh putus... sini merajuk, sana merajuk, abeh aku kat tengah2 amacam? salah silap, macam2 ah boleh putus.

mana dengan takder restu muslim restaurant... ni part sensitip sikit.

mana dengan members besarkan konek daripada member sendiri. feeling kuat ader diamond berkilauan, tak pon, ball bearing banyak2. sampai mata hilang.. hehe.

mana dengan pokok eksyen.. yerlah kan lagi bagus dier kluarkan duit daripada daun? at least orang boleh mesra alam sikit. love nature.

dan macam-macam lagi ah.. "Allah sahaje yang tahu" (tribute ah kan nak dekat Ramadhan)

To cut it short, kalau hidup ni macam nyer susah, aku nak jadik MILF ah. Boleh?

K lah. See you when I see you. Aku dah malas nak update sebab takde orang baca and kalau baca pon orang tak paham apa aku tulis. Hehe.

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir & Batin.

SELipar....

2008-07-04T10:19:00.003+08:00

(Disclaimer : Any facts or fiction mentioned below are solely exclusive to me and in no way or another asking you to feel my sentiments too.)

First, I feel that you DO NOT have the rights to be FUCKING STINGY AND CALCULATIVE to her. There's MANY occasions which she has given/donated SINCERELY some of her still as good as new stuffs to you.. but you?

Second, she DID NOT intrude into your privacy and FYI, she was going to inform you LATER, and it was the fucking FIRST time it happened, so stop being a FAT BITCH and get so agitated about it as though she was frequently "intruding into your privacy". *vomits blood*

Third, you DO NOT have to inform your mother! Umur berape siak..?? Kental or what? Take a chill pill lah sister...

Forth, it's just just JUST a fucking TOP. And worse, the IRONY of all.. the top was given by HER. Not given by any of your ugly ex-boyfriend(s). So why make a big deal about it?

Fifth, you suck and she officially hates you to the brim. She was considerably kind enough to not have texted you.. but wait, I think you're too dumb to understand her language. Maklomlah, O level English kau pon half past 1...

Moral of the story?

Outsiders (read:in-laws be it mum, dad, sis, bro, cat, hamster) 90% of the time are external pests. Hati manyak busuk punya olang...

Marah betul aku eh? HEHEHE..

penat.

2008-06-08T23:09:00.002+08:00

Sampai bila kau nak macam ni?

Aku dah penat lah...

You make everything un-sexciting already.........

Nak suruh kau "grow up", kau ni memang dah tua..

Sampai bila kau nak macam ni??

Tango Papa

2008-05-13T09:49:00.001+08:00

I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12 May 2008

life is short..

2008-04-29T00:53:00.001+08:00

She passed away...

Al-Fateha for Siti Zubaidah Bte Md Nasir...

Life is short...

Treasure your loved ones before they are gone forever..

subhanallah..

2008-04-25T02:30:00.003+08:00

A friend of mine is in deep pain now. God, I feel so painful for her.

Half an hour after she gave birth, she felt severe pain around her tummy. And then she totally passed out. Luckily the doctor was able to revive her using that thing I don't know what's the name.

This was what happened. You know when you give birth, your waterbag would burst and the fluid would spill out from your body together with the baby right? But for her case, there happened to be some extra2 waterbag fluid which burst INTO her body..and went into her lungs. :( Can you imagine the horror? OMG lah. Even if you try sucking in normal water from your nose it's painful as hell what more have both your lungs soaked with dirty waterbag fluid! The doctors said that this is a rare case. INDEED ah.

When I saw her, she was so bloated and pitiful. :( Now she's in ICU and depending on so many machines to survive. Sigh, only god knows how she feels. I really hope she will somehow recover. Doctor said that the chances of her survival is pretty slim. :(

Touchwood, if she passes on, which I hope not, she will "mati syahid" and straightaway go to heaven. But the thought of her going away makes me feel so sad. Her 1st daughter just turned one, and there's a fresh few days old baby waiting for her. I don't know how to describe it but it's really so tearful and sad... :(

Which in many ways makes me so scared to conceive a child of my own. All the pain you have to go through.. Sigh. And more disappointing when the child grows up to be a fucking stubborn and disrespectful piece of shit.

Now I understand why Hell awaits anak derhaka. :( *points to self*

berserk.

2008-04-15T04:45:00.000+08:00

I'm depressed... :(

"bias"

2008-04-06T01:37:00.002+08:00

The word "bias" is defined as "a particular tendency or inclination, esp. one that prevents unprejudiced consideration of a question; prejudice." (Dictionary.com, 2008)

Example, if you have two cats, Upun & Ipin, you only give exceptional concern and unconditional love to Upun. Even in matters that are of no wrong at all. Let's say Upun likes to sleep under the table, which is nothing wrong at all. But when Ipin sleeps under the table, you tend to get very furious and will scold poor Ipin like an animal (pun intended).

And I think I am Ipin.

Her.

2008-04-03T04:48:00.003+08:00

Yeah you admitted it, your ego is so damn high. Don't think with your money you can take charge over my life. I will prove to you that I can survive without your help. FYI, I am the smarter one here. You're just LUCKY, alright. Don't be proud and complacent of whatever riches you have boy. And when you compared me to the impossible just now, let me tell you a secret. I went to the toilet and cried as loud as i can inside the cubicle. Damn that toilet auntie must have got a shock of her life. But of course my ego chose to level up to yours. I managed to appear in front of you unaffected and unscathed. Though only god knows how much I was erupting inside. Fuck lah I just hate it when you do that.

Somehow or rather, SADLY, I wish that you're just gone. Gone for good. Since you exude that arrogant aura of "I CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU". But then again, that stinking aura most of the time comes crashing into pieces. Just with a tinge of my ignorance or indifference. How to not love you. You're like a switch : ON - Extremely nice,OFF - BIG MEANIE. But I love you so much. And nobody will ever know all the real mishaps we go through.

Wait, let m recall who is the brunt of all the mishaps. Other than main characters you and me, it is HER. Sigh.

She's the one I love most yet she is the one who disappoints me the most. ALL THE TIME. Where was she when I was sick? Where was she when I was hungry? Where was she when I needed somebody to talk to? Where was she when I was at my downest moment? Where was she during my 21st birthday? Where was she when I needed her the most? Where was she when I needed somebody to defend me? Where was she when I needed a hug? P.S : I can feel saltwater welling up in my eyes already.

And they say blood is thicker than water. I guess the thicker it gets, the heavier the burden gets. I just miss her so much, nobody in this world understand or can fathom how much I badly yearn for her touch, her warmth, her kiss, her voice, her care. Can I just say there's a Great Wall of China between me and her?

On a sidenote, I've been contemplating to diminish this almost non-existant and long abandoned blog. But then again, I think writing is my form of escapade. Hell, I miss writing. Yeah balls, maybe I should just start writing again. At least if no one can understand my feelings, I'm sure this humble space does.

countdown...

2008-02-16T03:28:00.003+08:00

I'm counting down about just a week more to "THE BIG DAY".. Well, it isn't my wedding but let's just say it's the first stage towards that..

So how am I feeling? Excited definitely, nervous for what the future may hold, and glad that my friends are all happy of our reunion.

But guess what? I'm thankful for everyone's happiness and support but I don't really care cause I'm yearning for that one happiness from YOU.. And I'm not getting it, not quite..

And that's making me real upset....

Nice Ass..

2007-11-02T02:36:00.000+08:00

saltwater moments..

2007-09-24T03:06:00.000+08:00

I just seem to CANNOT bring my self to sleep.. Lately I've been feeling slightly depressed and sad and lonely and I got no idea why..

Thank god for YOUR love.. but still.. I keep feeling sad..

And I don't know why..

of sentimental value.

2007-09-19T01:20:00.000+08:00

Last Ramadhan, my life was a roller coaster. Too many ties to be fixed and broken, too many heartbreak, too much tears to shed, too much sweet memories some meant to remember and some purposely meant to forget.

Close to a year, and another Ramadhan has arrived. I thought this Ramadhan would be a peaceful and happy dandy without so much drama last year, however I thought wrong.

It just takes ONE PHONE CALL to actually make me all jittery and relish all those sweetest memories.. Just when I thought I had totally gotten over it.

I miss them. I really do. :(

And the fire that I thought had died, never really died in my heart after all..

All in a day's work.

2007-08-30T01:26:00.001+08:00

Whoever says being a rider is easy work?

Tangkap basah!

2007-08-23T21:52:00.000+08:00

I'd like to share this really hilarious video about Pegawai Pencegah Maksiat (PPM) in Malaysia. HAHA I think it's damn funny! I guess if there really were PPMs patrolling around Singapore and they get 50cents for every couple caught, they'd be RICHI RICH RICH! And obviously the PPM in this video is bogus lah..

What tickles me most about this video is :

1. The FUGLY minah tudungs and their outrageous outfits.
2. The FUGLY guys with their CENTER PARTED HAIR!! (Gasp!)
3. The fact that they ARE NOT really doing anything worth tangkap basah of.
4. The questions asked by the video man.. Haha damn funny
5. The location.

Takper, yang penting....

MALAYSIA BOLEH!!!!!!

Of computer "glitches"

2007-08-23T15:06:00.001+08:00

Adapted this from DebbieTeo's LJ (Yes dear I was THAT bored that I actually read through your archives!) And I find it kinda hilarious!

Dear Tech Support,

Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of only limited effectiveness.

Can you help, please!!

Sincerely,
XXX

Reply mail from Tech Support

Dear XXX,

This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible. Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.

In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0. Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support." You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system. Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0 , secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME". Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.

TECH TIP!
Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\ I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip!

Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly. After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.

A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.

I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!

Tech Support

Follow-up mail from Tech Support:

Dear XXX,

Your Husband 1.0 has been infected with the Mistress 2.1 virus. Try Divorce 3.5 to remove present headaches.

Tech support

Life's Dead End..

2007-08-23T00:32:00.000+08:00

It comes, those moments of epiphany where I'd retrospect and ponder on the countless non-reversible erratums which I made through out my life. Honestly, these moments visit me without fail almost each and every night, and every time when I see or hear stories of peer's success. These moments of truth set me knocking my head telling how actually I COULD HAVE been in their shoes, or even way better... In simpler words, deep down inside, there's a huge part of REGRET that perhaps could never be cured. Even if it could, it would prolly concur over a certain period of time but then again that's kinda impossible cause there's a huge obstruction to things from now till the future..

I regret PROCRASTINATING, when I knew being punctual was the ultimatum..

I regret BEING LAZY, when I knew I was more intellectual than the hardworking..

I regret FEELING INFERIOR, when I knew nobody really cares who or what you bloody are..

I regret QUITTING, when I knew I could have been part of the elite squad and worked my way up my ladder of sweet success..

I regret GIVING UP, when I knew I could have been the best..

I regret my SINFUL DESIRE, when I knew I had perfect solid pious foundation which all went down the train and succumbed to unforgivable vices..

I regret GIVING IN, when I knew I had 19 years power of abstination..

There's just so much regret I got to account for. Each morning, I wake up to a sad "WHAT IF?" or a useless "IF ONLY..". These moments never fail to visit me each every solitary moment, like how I'm feeling now.. HE'S not around, and oh yeah another thing I got to add, friends come and go, don't they? Wonder what my bestfriend of 12 years is doing at the moment? Sometimes I feel that life's mice race really widens the friendship gap. Everyone's so busy and caught up in life's own traffic, that it gets real lonely at times. Sometimes your only source of solace is dear beloved PILLOW, who'd listen to your woes before you sleep and drown in your painful tears, cause it's just so hard to find someone who would always be there for you. It's even so hard to meet over a cup of coffee just to catch up with each other. How sad is that..?

And then comes FAMILY. Seriously, I do feel the drastic change over the years. Things aren't as easy and happy dandy as before. Question : Is it ME or is it THEM? I don't know. So much emotions tag along issues of family, but you know what? At least I am thankful to god that I still come home to a nice cosy home with a MUM who cooks for me, a DAD who is responsible, and a SISTER and a BROTHER who enlightens up the house. That complete family is PRICELESS..

Sometimes I wonder what awaits me next? Every new day is a new surprise for me, be it good or bad. Still living my life in countless regrets though, and don't bother soothing me cause it's just more like rubbing it in.

when you're not around..

2007-08-21T20:22:00.000+08:00

Cranberries - When You're Gone

Hold onto love that is what I do now that I've found you.
And from above everything's stinking, they're not around you.

And in the night, I could be helpless,
I could be lonely, sleeping without you.

And in the day, everything's complex,
There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you.

But I'll miss you when you're gone, that is what I do. Hey, baby!
And it's going to carry on, that is what I do. Hey, baby...

Hold onto my hands, I feel I'm sinking, sinking without you.
And to my mind, everything's stinking, stinking without you.

And in the night, I could be helpless,
I could be lonely, sleeping without you.

And in the day, everything's complex,
There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you.

But I'll miss you when you're gone, that is what I do. Hey, baby!
And it's going to carry on, that is what I do. hey, baby...

mereka yang meLAYU..

2007-08-17T10:47:00.000+08:00

Beberapa sebab kenapa aku rasa mereka tak akan maju kehadapan :

- Sombong apabila sudah "terlalu pandai", dan pandang rendah kepada mereka yang baru nak belajar
- Perasaan HASAD DENGKI, tak boleh tengok orang lain senang, mesti ada sahaja perasaan tak senang hati dengan kebahagiaan orang lain
- Batu api, suka mencari alasan untuk membuat si fulan dan si fulan bertelingkah
- Menunjuk-nunjuk, kalau ada sesuatu yang dimiliki tu mahal ke berjenama ke, mesti nak tayang kat satu dunia
- Mulut murai, suka canang pekong orang kat satu dunia padahal pekong sendiri dia tak nampak
- Macam faham padahal tak faham

Yang sedihnya, nak lari dari mereka pun tak tahu macam mana. HANG TUAH confirm sedih kalau dengar tentang perangai mereka ni sekarang kan?

antara KAU, DIA, AKU dan MEREKA.

2007-08-09T10:42:00.000+08:00

Apasal KAU ni SENSITIVE sangat ah? Apa sebenarnya yang kau nak dari AKU dan DIA ni?

Perangai KAU ni betul2 melampau sial. Memanglah, AKU dan DIA ada buat salah besar, tapi main thing is DIA tu TIDAK melarikan diri. Kalau betul DIA tu nak melarikan diri, DIA tak susah payah suruh MEREKA datang kelmarin. In fact, KAU yang macam sial to the max.. Bila MEREKA nak datang kelmarin, KAU takda pulak! Apa punya merepek epek perangai KAU ni? Besar peh sial ar.. KAU yang MATI2 nak MEREKA datang, abeh kau senang2 aje tuding jari kat DIA, cakap DIA tak inform kau betul2? EH SIAL AR.. K tu tak pasal ar, dah lepas pun, nasib baik AKU manage to pujuk KAU eh, walaupun AKU dah macam nak meletup and bingit giler babi and dah paiseh rabak dengan DIA and MEREKA.

Abeh sekarang takkan pasal bende kecik pun kau nak fikir bukan2 pasal DIA sak??? Apa yang kau sebenarnya nak? KAU tak tahu susah aku nak jaga hati KAU, nak jaga hati DIA, macam nak putus jantung aku siak...

KAU apasal SENSITIF sangat macam nak mampus? DIA tu betul2 nak responsible, tapi cara KAU fikir seolah-olah DIA hendak melarikan diri dan taknak berbual. MEREPEK LAH SIAL. KAU tu dah tua, fikir lah, kalau DIA betul nak lepas tangan, consperm sekarang AKU dah takder nak jumpa2 DIA lagi, and buat apa dia bazir duit beratus2 belikan aku barang2 tu semua? KAU tak paham bahasa ke bila aku cakap dia sibuk..

KAU TERLALU SENSITIVE NAK MAMPUS SAMPAI BUAT AKU MAHA BENCI SIAL DENGAN KAU.

Janganlah KUNO sangat sak? Apa KAU ingat ni zaman siti zubaidah ke nak kene prim and proper? Best part is hari ni bila MEREKA nak datang, last minute kau nak buat perangai pepek kau.. KAU tak tahu betapa paiseh nak mampus aku dengan DIA siak? Kenapa kau taknak semadi dalam otak kau yang "DAH BAGUS TU DIA MASIH NAK TANGGUNGJAWAB." Takkan lah pasal dia dah tak jumpa KAU lagi kau fikir bukan2!!

AKU bingit betul ar. Betul orang cakap eh, hdup ni banyak betul dugaan yang menimpa. Confirm aku jadi gila kalau satu hari bende buruk terjadi antara AKU dan DIA, bukan kerana kita, tetapi kerana perangai KAU yang macam sial.

JANGAN SAMPAI AKU HILANG SABAR AND GI KAHWIN LARI KAT GOLOK AND TAK TENGOK MUKA KAU SAMPAI BILA2... a

that alter ego(s).

2007-08-08T01:07:00.001+08:00

How coincidential can everything be?

First, the Bangkok trip, then the surprisingly getting what I've been yearning for, then the same phone, then the same bike, then almost akin educational backgrounds, and the name of the ex?

How complicating can matters of the heart be, but nevertheless, 9 AUG is gonna be an important day in my and his life.

Yeah, amidst the beautiful fireworks of NDP 2008, I'm gonna be stepping into a new threshold altogether.

And how can I forget, the "one rekindled in the dark"?

You're My Everything...

2007-07-27T00:49:00.000+08:00

That SOLDIER.. I bloody miss him lah.. KNNCCB nya army.. Sigh..

You're my everything
The sun that shines above you makes the blue bird sing
The stars that twinkle way up
in the sky, tell me I'm in love.

When I kiss your lips
I feel the rolling thunder to my fingertips
And all the while my head is in a spin
Deep within I'm in love.

You're my everything
And nothing really matters
but the love you bring
You're my everything
To see you in the morning
with those big brown eyes.

You're my everything
Forever everyday I need you
close to me
You're my everything
you'll never have to worry
Never fear for I am near.

Oh, my everything
I live upon the land
and see the sky above
I swim within her oceans
sweet and warm
There's no storm, my love.

Chorus
When I hold you tight there's nothing
That can harm you In the lonely night
I'll come to you
And keep you safe and warm
It's so strong, my love.

kepo..

2007-06-06T00:39:00.000+08:00

Life is firritating at times when:

- you don't know what others know
- others don't want to let you know what they know
- when you know something that you have to know is not supposed to be known by you
- when you can't know what you want to know
- when you know you want to know something but at the same time you don't

argh... I DON'T KNOW..

suatu hari di hari ibu..

2007-05-14T00:36:00.000+08:00

This year's mother's day is very memorable for me because I had my first ever huge fight with him. But just as I thought my day was bad enough with that very huge fight (reasons are classified, so don't bother asking).....

another bigger fight happened. And the fight did not involve us.. Guess what?

ME AND HIM WERE ATTACKED BY A GROUP OF GANGSTERS.

Yes. A group of 5-6 of gangster taik kucing budak2 eh-ah attacked him.. and ME too! Macam siak betol ar. Jadik kat hometown sendiri and tempat selalu lepak lak tu. Sumpah aku tak tahu macam mana nak explain how it happened ar. Nak tahu tanya aku lah eh.

All I know is that we ran away as fast as we could, but most importantly the attack left me with a very BIG BENJOL on my forehead (now I'm jendol like that kodong. Sigh )= ). As for him, I hope he'll get well soon after that TWO surprise flying kick from the BACK. Betol punyer gangster taik kucing, taik tapir, taik babi sak. Abeh aku ni HOT CHIX sak.. takkan aku pun dier nak attack? Dengan aku pon kena sekali kepala hentak kat tembok. Kalau gangster betol tak suker hati mak bapak dier attack dari belakang eh. Dorang tak tengok ceriter "Jangan Pandang Belakang" ke ah??

Susah nak explain ah this very shocking incident. But the lighter side of it, the earlier huge fight me and him had suddenly dissipates cause we were attacked and our focus totally diverted to the incident.

Nevertheless, I thank god we both are safe, despite the fact that I am JENDOL now. And baybee, I cannot take it seeing you kena bedal just now although I told you to PERGI MAMPOS and GO AND DIE countless times when we had our fight. Get well soon baybee...

Well, Happy Mother's Day.

my baby soldier....

2007-05-05T02:26:00.000+08:00

i miss you so much..

you're so near yet so far....

only god can fathom my love for you...........

just one word to describe it all.

2007-04-25T00:16:00.000+08:00

SAD.

firritated.

2007-04-23T01:01:00.000+08:00

Some banes of my life include :

- traffic lights
- wet towels on the floor
- songs playing in blogs/friendster with no stop button
- bad handphone reception
- my own bulging tummy
- sTickY TaBs liKe tHiS
- "whistle blowers"

the list goes on, but that's it for now, and only I know why these things irritate the hell out of me.

obituaries.

2007-04-02T03:51:00.000+08:00

I can't sleep.

I still can't accept that you are gone. FOREVER. I just cannot swallow the painful fact that you will never be mine again. All those memories. Only with you. Deep inside though I believe you will come back to me. Only god knows the answer. Sigh. I've had sleepless nights since you left. Countless heaves of heavy sighs when I see pictures of others in ecstatic memories.

Oh, come back to me will you MY-DELETED-OFF-MY-FORMATTED-PC-PICTURES??

I never knew how much you meant to me, till you are gone. Even if I were to make a special obituary dedication for you, it's not possible cause I won't have any pictures at all represent you. Oh, well. :(

it's a two in front..

2007-03-30T00:15:00.000+08:00

This is kinda belated, but well blame it on my forever STD-infected computer which didn't allow me to log into my account for reasons classified, but here I am.. FINALLY.

NEWS FLASH : I AM NO MORE A TEEN!

Ok here are some of the perks of turning TWENTY (20) for me:

1. No more a teen. Although I would much like to believe that I am still 14, 15, 16.. well as long as it's still ONE in front.. and still look like one. :P

2. Try and get back on track. Rejected recently with unholy reasons like "due to overwhelming applicaitons and limited vacancies..", which I feel is their bloody lost, and hopefully my gain. Pray hard that I get through this time round. If not.. SIGH.

3. Transition between 19 to 20 was really a rough ride. One fall after another, and growing up IS very painful. Hopefully the threshold to this new number and all that lies ahead will be good. :)

4. My ex-wife (errr, I am semi-straight, hokay??) also had her birthday on the next day. But unluckily for her, it falls on a monday. :P Nevertheless, HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY to my lovely janda.. DILAH SEPET!!

Say hello to : Legal watching of R(A) shows (although I believe not a single under-21 dhere to this rule.. :P), more legal entrance into clubs (but this doesn't apply to you lah, aper jer aku, haha) and most importantly, turning 21 means getting money from the government!! Bastard sak kau Dilah! Haha.. I have to sadly wait for another year. BAH. Nevertheless, enjoy your life ahead. Dah tua dah anak mak.. Cuma mata ajer tak besau besau eh.. :)

5. Definitely the most memorable birthday. Why not! With a birthday gift like this...

MISS SIXTY FRAME SPECS!!

GOLD RIPCURL WATCH.

Why GOLD? Cause I'm a tai-tai wannabe. Hurhurhur.

and of course, the most special of them all..

A PINK PINK PINK PSP!!!

Now my long and lonely train and bus rides are history!! :)

Thank you baby!! Turning 20 might not be significant without you, thank you for the SNOWCITY TRIP (Haha very obsolete, I know, but please spare your orbit friend here), thank you for making me one of the very first member of the public who got to watch the all new SONGS OF THE SEA which is the new attraction at Siloso Beach (Yes lah, I am jakon like that ok), thank you for the extremely hearty PIZZA HUT meal (you see, I chose to be simple and decided to go to PIZZA HUT, of all places in the world), and the surprise cake!!

He says that TWO cakes with TWO candles is to signify that I have a TWO in front from now on. THANKS baby for reminding me. Haha.

And not forgetting Debbie and Nurul Huda too!

Thanks for the surprise and many thanks for not making it a noisy affair, though I much believe that the idea might not make Nurul that happy, haha! (personal joke lah) However most importantly thank you for waiting for me for almost two hours, I guess punctuality is still my issue... period. :P I LOVE TWO OF YOU!

Thank you also to Dilah, Yaty, Dee, Farhanah, Liyana, Odah, Abg Hamdan, Hani, Fauzi, Eijal, Mama, Kak Sera, Sharon, Wei Gee, Alia, Aji for all the wishes. :)

Alright I guess enough of my birthday. I bet you must be thinking I'm so cocky.. Haha. But it's not always that I feel happy on my birthday ok! Give me some credits, at the very least. For the rare record I'm actually typing something of happy connotations here right??

However I still have some thoughts to share. Boys, some points to take note when getting gifts for your lady :

1. Never give her gifts that are like "Bahan Kene Rolling". Which means that the gift was actually given to some other girls before, but was the gift was rejected by the girls (together with the girl rejecting you as well -_-). And then give the gift to her on her birthday, with the latest revolting intention of courting her, which just shows how BUDGET, CIPUT, CHEAPSKATE, TAKDE DUIT you are. Worse is when the girl who rejected the gift and the birthday girl are good friends! Sigh.

2. Never borrow money from the birthday girl's BEST FRIEND to buy her the birthday gift, and then never paying back at all even eons after you and birthday girl are real through! When birthday girl finds out sometime later it's just a jaw-hanging fact and again shows how BUDGET and CHEAPSKATE and FAKE you are.

I hope I didn't hit any nails in anyone's head. But Dilah, I hope you're reading this! Hahaha!

Happy 20 to me. :)

still alive and very kicking!

2007-03-09T17:01:00.000+08:00

Do I still even have anyone reading my blog? After being on a very very long hiatus, I've decided to come back. With one mission : to make my posts less depressing. Well I hope so at least. Actually I never intend to make my posts sound depressing, you know? Blame it on my education. Well it's ok if you don't get what I'm getting it cause I love writing in bushes. Hurhur.

To cut it short since right now I'm stealing some unlucky chap's wireless connection which could die anytime soon, here are some sad/happy/exiting/mundane updates about me :

1. I miss working under the taglines of "A Great Way To Fly.." It was the best moments of my life, great company, great everything. Oh well. When you gotta go you gotta go.

2. Actually still working under that tagline, however dread going to work each day cause I'm working in Ulu town of Venus. No make that Jupiter. Wait, what's the furthest planet? Like literally. It's ok if you don't get what I mean. But yeah. I so dread the distance.

3. I'm happy with HAPPY. Thank you. :)

4. I reformatted my bloody STD-infected pc and now ALL my pictures are gone. ALL OF IT. Bloody kanasai. Could anyone who have an archive of anything containing MY FACE, please email them to me? Pictures from 2004 all gone! Sigh sigh sigh. I cried ok when the pictures were deleted foreevr. Worse than losing your virginity for the first time or even worse than breaking up. Yah, I'm weak and frail like that. I'm so sentimental. :(

OH NO I THINK I JUST GOT SPOTTED FOR STEALING THIS WIRELESS CONNECTION. I WILL BE BACK.

And see, I told you my life's as mundane as ever. Sigh.

Just MAYBE..

2006-11-28T19:39:00.000+08:00

MAYBE, I should not have allowed the new feeling to overcome my weakness at that point of time.

MAYBE, I was just in the WANT of a new muse but actually it's the old muse that I NEED.

MAYBE, I should not have allowed my ego and my pride to take the best of me when I know that it was the only source of making me feel exceptionally special.

MAYBE, I should just go drown myself for having this contradiction which I can lie to others but definitely a contradiction that I cannot lie to myself.

Worse is just the sad realisation that this could never be true.. Never ever..

some feelings.

2006-11-26T13:17:00.001+08:00

I am seriously WEAK and FRAGILE at the moment.

In my whole life, no one, and I really mean NO ONE at all has ever made me felt exceptionally intimidated. Yes, INTIMIDATED. Just by the presence, makes me go weak on my knees and makes my heart race faster. Allows fear and inferiority to fill me to the fullest brim..

NO, this is not a typical crush thingy. This is the total opposite. It's an ominous feeling of wrath and hate that I've never felt before. Such a mixture of emotions that stirs the inside of me till I could actually literally explode..

Thinking of it, everything is such a blunt contradiction. To stay would have been a blatant mistake, would be a threshold to a dark future, would be a doorway to further suffering, but to leave? I thought to leave was the perfect decision, BUT, maybe I guessed wrong.

Either ways both decision has a negative implication. Simpy because the party involved is a shmuck. A rodent. A pest. A parasite. AN IDIOT.

What's bothering me now is the latter decision I made. It's churning up this fucted up emotion inside. They said that it's illogical to let just one handicapped (both in physically AND mentally!) person bring my spirits down but I myself can't explain this disgusting feeling..

My point here is, THE PRESENCE IS TOTALLY INTIMIDATING ME. And I can't believe myself to ever let anyone intimidate me until now.

MATI AH...

P.S : I miss all those lost along the way. Oh, well.

restricted.

2006-10-14T19:34:00.000+08:00

Forbidden fruit is the BEST..

and at the same time, the WORST.

buy 1 get 1 free?

2006-10-13T15:18:00.000+08:00

Ok every homo sapien in this planet earth has only ONE heart right? One thumping lump of red flesh.

So is it logical if I say ONE heart can only equate to ONE feeling for ONE thing?

Wait. That does not make sense definitely..

Because I'm wondering how can ONE heart have ONE feeling but for MANY things?

And that ONE feeling is too STRONG,
in that ONE heart that is too FRAGILE,
for MANY things that are TEMPTING.

Question is, which would be the perfect choice? Damn this is childish and help is much needed.

..dvbeihvbe3$^#$*^#$(TH#$NF(Yv3hrv7ht39t..

happy children's day!

2006-10-02T23:30:00.000+08:00

Awak-awak, kenapa awak tak ajak kita main playground dengan awak semua itu hari? Dulu selalau awak mesti ajak kita main playground sama2, tapi kenapa itu hari awak tak ajak kita?

Awak dah tak geng kita eh eh eh??

Abeh awak tak ajak kita bila Children's Day lagi.. Kan Children's Day sekali2 punya special event, kenapa awak sampai hati tak ajak kita main playground dengan awak2 semua?

Bukan apa awak, kita bukan nak merajuk macam budak2.. eh tapi kan memang kita ni semua masih budak2?

Lain kali pergi main playground kene ajak kita ok?

cooped inside.

2006-09-29T16:32:00.000+08:00

What would you do if you are not given a single opportunity at all to express your erupting angst?

pisang2 dari tandan yang sama.

2006-09-12T03:27:00.000+08:00

Sahibul hikayat, bukan hikayat putera emas (OOPPSSTHH) tetapi bau2 bacang gitu2 jugak lah kan..

Dua gadis perawan, dua2 lawa, dua2 sahabat karib, dua2 muka sama, dua2 perangai sama, kira macam dua2 sisters ar. Senang cakap macam adik beradik dari lain bodek ok?

Dua2 pulak bercinta monyet, sotong, katak, tapir, kuda dan lain2 binatang yang sewaktu dengannya dengan dua jejaka.

Dua jejaka ini pulak kononnya dari satu "keluarga" yang sama. Dua2 sama manis, sama comel, sama kelakar, sama anggun ar.. cuma bodek jer lain size, lain color dan...alah yang penting ini dua ada bodek dan mereka datang dari "keluarga" yang sama.

Background knowledge sedikit : "Keluarga" mereka ini semuanya mempunyai hobby yang sama. Yang best sekali, dalam "keluarga" ini kebanyakan anak mereka lelaki! Dan terpenting sekali, satu "keluarga" mempunyai hobby yang sama dalam masa lapang.. Tak perlu nak cakap lah apa hobby tu, whatever you can think of what a family likes to do together as a family, shoot the burger ar.

Ok, back to the kisah tadi.

Si dua lelaki dari "keluarga" yang sama ni, yang telah bercinta dengan itu dua sisters, telah membuat keputusan untuk mengakhiri hubungan mereka setelah sekian lama mereka bercinta.

Well, that's not the point sebab orang bercinta kalau putus macam normal thing lah, sebab sedangkan orang yang tunang boleh putus, orang yang kahwin boleh kahwin orang lain, orang yang nikah boleh cerai, orang yang dah cerai boleh kahwin lagi, dan lain2 lagi yang sewaktu dengannya. Sedangkan seluardalam atau boxer-bende2 yang tak hidup yang dah bau kawasan2 sulit dan berbulu kita boleh tinggalkan kita akibat koyak atau hancing, apa lagi manusia yang ade hati, perasaan, jantung, perut, babat, limpa kan?

Cuma yang tak boleh diterima bumi ni, dua2 jantan dari keluarga yang sama ni menggunakan modal yang sama untuk putus dengan ini dua sisters..

"Dah tak ada perasaan lagi."

Amboi??? Senangnya???

Hai proven sangatlah yang birds of the same feather flock together. In this case it is "burungs of the same bulu lain boxer flock together".

Atau "pisang lain panjang lain warna tapi sama tandan rasanya sama juga" pun ok eh?

Dua2 jantan bagi alasan yang sama. Ni betul2 punya bersenjata kekata seh.

Sekian, nukilan yang merepek oleh seorang insan yang dah nak masuk tidur. Tapi still, renungkanlah..

Selamat malam singapura.

berbagai jenis perasaan

2006-09-07T02:43:00.000+08:00

cuma terkenang seketika sahaja situasi pada kelmarin itu..

TEMPAT yang sama,
WAKTU yang sama,
CUACA yang sama,
PAKAIAN yang hampir sama,
BENDA yang sama,
yang penting sekali..

ORANG-ORANG nya pun hampir sama,

cuma,

PERASAAN,
KEADAAN,
EMOSI,
VISI,
KEGHAIRAHAN..

ini semua tersangat-sangat lah lain.

Konklusi (ada ke tidak siak word ini macam?) :

Sekeliling kita benda2 yang tak hidup tak akan berubah kecuali manusia ubahkan, tapi HATI DAN PERASAAN manusia boleh berubah dan beralih arah, sebab manusia ada 9 nafsu, terutama sekali nafsu seks. Hmm..

Senang cakap, perasaaan manusia boleh berubah bila2 masa, jadi jika ianya terjadi pada diri kita atau sesiapa sahaja, jangan nak salahkan sesiapa, kerana tangan tepuk sebelah takkan berbunyi..

besides orang gila sahaja yang akan bertepuk pakai satu tangan.. Kan kan?

lembu peh susu, sapi itik dapat nama!

2006-08-24T01:47:00.000+08:00

BINGIT!!!

kalau salah aku takpe lah, aku akur aku ni memang manusia yang tak lari dari kesilapan dan memang selalu SENGAJA buat kesilapan.. maklumlah aku ni kan tak se-perfect orang lain yang ingatkan dia perfect sehingga membunuh semut2 yang ada di dunia ini..

TETAPI, ni bukan salah aku siak.. Orang lain yang buat hal, orang lain yang kene jawab!

Tu tak penting, yang paling penting dan buat perut aku terbalik dan otak aku berkocak is..

$5000 mana mau carik?

jual badan pun tak dapek nak nolong...

BINGITTT!!!

oh, baru aku tahu..

2006-08-08T15:24:00.000+08:00

Problem : Susah betul nak bernafas. Nak tidur susah, tercungap2 untuk oksigen.. Breathe pun very furiously macam orang baru lepas main.......catching. Betul tak lepas main catching kan mesti termengah2 kan?

Verdict : MILD ASTHMA (!)

Reason : Tak cukup tidur, tak cukup rehat, banyak sangat hisap......hisap jari. Tu lah banyak sangat hisap jari sampai jari pun penat sampai affect pernafasan. Makes sense ke tidak? :P

Solution : Sleeping pill which ALMOST put me to sleep. I was flat for 24 hours, what say you?

Di suatu petang di rumah..

2006-08-07T19:03:00.000+08:00

Time check : 1845

Location : HOME (which is freaking rare to find me at home at this time)

More than a month left this space alone! ME? Still alive and kicking and active and still the same. Except for at this virtual space. Computer pon dah berhabuk. Biasa lah kan, tempat kerja aku dah macam 2nd home. Nak cakap 1st home pon boleh actually sebab balik rumah setakat mandi, makan, tidur, then off to work.. Nasib baik takde hostel, kalau tidak consperm dah jadi penduduk setia.

Maklumlah busy dekat kerja.. Tengok mat saleh cute..arab hensem.. jepon yang hot habes.. tai-tai indon yang rambut macam sarang tebuan.. orang2 kaya yang top to toe gucci, LV, salvatore ferragamo, coach bla bla bla.. (entah2 petaling street siak?) .. tidak terkecuali jugak orang2 tua yang hot dalam blazer mereka, abeh bawak briefcase.. yang banyak duit beb! Tapi tunggu masa je aku nak kacip.. Errr?

Tapi that's not the point. My point is, I simply hate this time of the day. Especially the feeling of _____________ (i don't now how to put it) when the sun sinks in. Don't ask me why, this is just the most mendak part of the day for me. The "keheningan" (macam paham betol lah aku nie..) make me sad, makes me retrospect on my life, makes me reflect, makes me think, makes me remember, makes me ponder, makes me wish, makes me regret, makes me feel macam loser ah senang kata. Feeling dia is so the semacam like that.. I don't loikee..

Don't ask me why. I'm sure you have part of the days which are your pet peeves. Mine's at dawn. How about yours?

Which reminds me, nak kene pergi klinik ni. Hari ni tak kerja, MC sebab.. adalah sebab2 nya. Tu pun nanti nak pergi tempat kerja pasal ak jumpa members punya pasal. Kan dah kata, tempat kerja tu 1st home. Huahuahua..

in/un-contactable

2006-06-23T03:28:00.000+08:00

I am slowly dissipating into thin air and gradually becoming extinct, so if you have any qualms or desperately need my service, please do just e-mail me or leave me a message at friendster.

It's very lame, yes I know but I'm proud to say I'm even more elusive than Osama.

:)

Ah.. Which reminds me, it has been eons since I penned/fingered my thoughts in this white cyber space.

Too busy, too tired.

But friends, fret not. If you think I have been ignoring or disappearing from you, think again 69 times *sniggers at the choice of number*.

You are not the only one I have unintentionally lost touch with. It's almost everyone. So where necessary, just follow the directions of the bolded texts above. Don't misunderstand me as being a macam paham career babe or being sombong.

Which reminds me again, it's not only friends I have unintentionally lost touch with.

So many... so .. lonely. *sigh*

evil!

2006-05-29T00:07:00.000+08:00

Money is the root of ALL evil.

And KEPO people are evil too.

And ~~sometimes~~most of the time human gets evil.

In this world, I wonder what is not evil.

SIGH.

bende bende gilerrrr.

2006-05-22T09:17:00.001+08:00

Ngantok giler..

Sebab hari-hari kerja shift tunggang langgang sampai tak cukup tidur. Sampai rasanya dah malas nak tido lagi sebab takut terlajak time nak kerja.. Nasib baiklah enjoy kerja. Maklomlah, nak kacip dato' ke, magistrate ke, lawyer ke, PILOT ke.. so kene lah selalu red alert. Hehe..

Penat gilerr..

Sebab hari-hari jalan dari hujung ke hujung tempat kerja rasanya nak dekat 69 kali.. Boleh putus dan tercabut kaki..

Dan sekarang, tambah lagi satu kepenatan.. Asyik ulang alik hospital aje. Takpe, luppp sama lu peh pasal gua sanggup joy..

Boros giler..

Sebab hari-hari kat tempat kerja ada barang2 yang tempted to touch. Lagi2, kat dalam dah lah murah nak mampus. Abeh, hari-hari without fail consperm lalu kedai2 nya. Dah tu, dapat 30 percent discount lagi. Tak beli rugi..

Pelik gilerrrrrrrrrrrr....

Sebab, hari-hari aku risau tentang A,
Tetapi, dalam hati hari-hari mencari B,
Musykilnya, sampai hari ini, hari-hari aku kepinginkan C..

PELIK NAK MAMPUS KAN?

:(

2006-05-18T22:44:00.000+08:00

I am the epitome of SAD tonight.

SAD with a capital ~~ass~~S.

Get well soon would you?

:((((((((((

crossroad.

2006-05-15T23:40:00.000+08:00

I CANNOT have the best of BOTH worlds..

..it is impossible I know...

..or is it really that impossible?

Damn, I'm really weak at this shit..

R is for Rindu.

2006-05-09T03:23:00.000+08:00

Dilah Sepet .. Rabberduck .. Syiqin..

I really miss them so fricking much.. I guess work and commitment has kept us so busy that we have seem to lost touch of each other. I miss the both of them so much.. Hope they feel the same too.. Especially her..

I guess it's true.. Friends do come and go.. I guess as we grow older, we grow old alone.. Everyone would be engulfed in their own life.. Sigh I really miss quality time with my friends.. Especially the above two..

Don't know why I'm so emo tonight.. For sure.. I'm not tipsy now.. Not anymore..

And when I'm emo.. I sort of lose my sober (again, I'm NOT tipsy..).. To think that I abhor people who type like this.... Parenthesises all over....

I MISS MY FRIENDS...

equations.

2006-05-09T03:04:00.000+08:00

First,

2 strawberry margaritas + 6 tequila shots + 2 pitchers of bourbon coke = 3 very wasted soul + 1 very confused heart

Then,

1 very confused heart + 1 very angst ridden soul = 1 very complicating story

Next,

1 very complicating story + 1 night stand = BLOODY SHIT

Now I know why people find maths such a chore.

unsure.

2006-05-04T23:28:00.000+08:00

Dear Eve,

Is it true that forbidden fruit always tastes the best?

progress package.

2006-04-30T02:56:00.000+08:00

they are getting money..money..money..

I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTT ALSOOOOOO..........

But what the heck I'm still a far cry from 21 siol. Asal lah mak aku tak buat aku siang siang??? WAH.. WAH..

Nie macam nak kene kacip satu Dato' ke, Magistrate ke, Lawyer ke.. bisnessmen ke kat tempat kerje aku.

Yang penting, ADA DUIT, OK?

of black and of white.

2006-04-28T00:38:00.000+08:00

Bloghop punya bloghop, terjumpa lah satu blog ni.

An extremely childish blog lah I would say, from an extremely childish and macam faham person..

Well, all I know is that my conscience is clear.

And black and white proofs is an ALIBI that can NEVER lie.

LIKE MSN CHAT LOGS.

Cuma part yang tak faham di studio dan tak faham di rumah is asal SEKARANG dan TIBA2 eh tulis gitu. Dah paiseh per? Muka dah letak pat pantat?

And kalau tak suka, cakap lah dengan orang tu terus terang. Macam aku, FRANK. Jangan lah nak tulis2 kat blog ker.. kat dinding ker.. kat seat bus ker.. TAK SUKA, CAKAP SENDIRI. Lagi2 kalau kau ader konek, cakap lah sendiri. Unles konek kau dah termasuk kat mulut kau, sebab tu kau selalu bual konek.

Childish habes ah. Tak faham aku. Tapi best ah best. I love controversies! Bring it on baby!

AGAIN, I reiterate, BLACK AND WHITE PROOFS CANNOT LIE. :))

abused.

2006-04-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

If you love someone so deeply, would you treat that person MACAM TAIK?

dipinggirkan.

2006-04-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

segala apa yang AKU buat salah...

kau sahaja yang betul...

dia sahaja yang betul..

mereka sahaja yang betul..

AKU rasa amat terpinggir..

keseorangan.. kesepian..

my legs, my legs, my legs.

2006-04-19T21:33:00.000+08:00

My legs are suffering from serious injuries. Thanks to wearing COURT SHOES for only THREE DAYS in a row.

Myriads of plasters at the back for my ever-blooming blisters, and my feet ache really bad. Kaki aku dah betul2 macam sotong kering basi ah. Gosh, I need a massage, pronto!!!

Ah who knows maybe I'm fated to be a Geisha with extremely cramped and bound feet. Eh but no thanks. I wouldn't want to be a Geisha. I wouldn't want to lose my "mizuage" to a WRINKLING (pun is fully intended) old men. :P

But it doesn't matterlah because I AM LOVING MY JOB. :)

Just that I need more plasters. FIVE a day, what say you?

sakit.

2006-04-16T23:59:00.000+08:00

'Nuff said. Unison is impossible.

The longer I stay the faster you will drive me to my grave.

But whatthehell, I still have not even learned "the art of merajuk".

But thanks so much lah for treating me like your dustbin. Thanks.

And it is really painful when something is really painful but you just CANNOT cry to ooze the pain out. OUCH OUCH OUCH.

some love story.

2006-04-16T02:51:00.000+08:00

~~What's the connection between Robin Hood, Superman and Princess Fiona?~~

Nothing, they all just have very fairy-tale kind of love story. With very drama mama storylines but happy endings.

But in this story I'm trying to come up with, the Robin Hood would toss and turmoil and fight with Superman to fight over Princess Fiona. And Princess Fiona is touched by the sincerity and EFFORT of Robin Hood. And to think that she actually loathed Robin Hood so much at the very beginning. Unintended love.

HEHE. Apa aku merepek ni? *layan please*

FUCK LAH FORGET WHATEVER I SAID ABOUT PRINCESS FIONA AND ROBIN HOOD AND WHATEVER SHIT. APPARENTLY PRINCESS FIONA IS NOT WRONG ABOUT HATING ROBIN HOOD FROM THE START.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS DO LAST AFTER ALL. PFFT.

teman.

2006-04-15T01:33:00.000+08:00

kehangatan mentari menyinari pagi

derusan hujan mendingini panas

saling mengiring saling melengkapi

begitulah kudrat Illahi

kehadiranmu teman bagaikan cahaya

menerangi taman hatiku yang sepi

menjalin kasih mesra kurnia maha Esa

merestui kemesraan ini

andai bunga tiada mekar mewangi

hancurlah harapan unggas menyepi

andai dikau menghilang dan menyendiri

ku terapung hilanglah panduan

bak hujan di tengah hari

panas menduri bumi

begitulah perasaan pabila bayangmu pun tiada..

keihklasan hatimu menghangatkan jiwa

kelembutan suaramu menyejukkan bara

jernih airmatamu lambang ketulusan

menemaniku di kala kesepian

keraplah menyinar mentari pagi

teruslah menari hujan yang mendingin

menghijau menyegar menyuburi bumi

saling menjalin hubungan infiniti

Kehadapan sang teman, jurang ini meracunkan. Dewasa ini khayalan semakin jauh. Piagam suci itu masih menjadi renungan. Angkara si durjana yang membekukan segala kehangatan. Manira mendahagakan dakapan itu, semula..

Yang benar tetapi palsu,

Itik Bergetah.

Laws of the Natural Universe.

2006-04-12T13:02:00.000+08:00

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Yang sebenarnya..

2006-04-12T02:16:00.000+08:00

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat resah akan perubahan itu..

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat sedih akan pemergian itu...

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat sensitif akan kata-kata itu...

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat kecewa akan kejadian itu...

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat terkejut akan pengakuan itu...

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat layu akan dakapan itu...

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat marah akan cadangan itu...

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat gembira akan perhatian itu...

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat terkesima akan sikap itu...

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat takut akan kepastian itu..

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat kusut akan masalah itu...

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat hipokrit akan persahabatan itu..

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat jijik akan pelayaran itu...

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat tertipu akan rahsia itu...

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat benci akan nasihat itu...

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat meluat akan penipuan itu...

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat sayang akan keikhlasan itu...

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat berahi akan gurauan itu..

Namun,
yang sebenarnya,
aku tidak pasti,
semua perasaan ini bila
ditemukan,
disatukan,
ditafsirkan,
disoalkan,
ditelitikan,

apakah isi degupan itu yang sebenarnya?

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat ingin unutk mencungkil kebenaran itu...

Yang sebenarnya,
aku berasa amat resah,
kerana kebenaran itu,
sesuatu yang pudar dan tidak pasti.

guilty conscience / ego .

2006-04-10T01:08:00.000+08:00

I still don't fricking get it. Why are you hiding it from me siols?? I mean the predicament here.. like it's damn obvious, blaring like a sore ~~cock~~ thumb.

Why? Guilty conscience? Cause whatever I said hit you in your bloody head?

Or.. Ego of a man? (Eh not that you're so much of a man anyway, urgh.) Because you know if you confessed everything, then I would have proved my point right?

Dahlah, I give up again. Sakit hati, sakit kepala, sakit otak tau fikirkan. Sakit adik pun tak menyusahkan begini. Ish ish ish..

No, it's not that I'm being so emotional or whatever, but I guess keeping mum is the best option for NOW.

Yes, till you get that stupid nabehcheebye donkey with an ultimately revolting attitude totally erased from your life. AND I PRAY YOU DO. (Ceh PRAY konon.. part gini baru ingat tuhan :P)

*heaves a heavy nak mampos macam bontot aku punya sigh*

Eh was that a very angst ridden entry? I hope not. Because I'm actually smiling when I typed this. Agaknya jari-jari kene rasuk ar tu.

kar-merajuk-sutera

2006-04-07T22:59:00.000+08:00

Eh kawan-kawan dan para peminat blog sekalian,

Korang tahu kan yang aku ni orangnyer memang bukan jenis yang kuat MERAJUK or SENSITIVE?

TAPI NI DAH BETUL-BETUL MELAMPAU SIOL.

Ingatkan aku ni apa.. Punching bag ke?? Tahulah bontot aku ni mampat, dah serupa macam punching bag, and you're so tempted to touch tapi jangan ah over siol.

Janganlah pasal kau tgh sakit macam nak mampos, pasal kau tegah binget dengan orang lain, pasal kucing kau tak joget betul, pasal coli kau lom cuci, pasal kau tengah geram dengan makhluk lain, AKU pulak yang jadi mangsa siak..

Ingat suke-suke per perah minyak kat aku macam gitu? Ingat suke-suke bolayan aku and buat aku macam tongong gitu?

DAH LAH. AKU NAK MERAJUK JADI BISKUT MARY.

Eh taknak biskut mary ah. Tak class sangat. K aku nak merajuk jadi biskut dalam tin yang biru bulat tu. Ape tu nama die.. Danish cookies eh? Ah tu boleh. Tu baru oldies and class siket. Tak pon aku nak merajuk jadi botol Chivas Regal. At least pon class siket. Dah hilang amarah, nanti aku transform jadik manusia balek ah. Tapi taknak go back jadi itik bergetah ah. Mintak2 ah jadi JLo ke, Aishwarya ke.. sape2 ah janji jambu batu and werkzz.

*HANDPHONE BEEPS*

Eh eh 1 message received

*OPENS MESSAGE*

ALAMAK. Si dektu yang telah membuat aku macam mangkuk tingkat as abovementioned message ah siol! Berbual baek2 lak tu mcm nothing happen.

But, I'm so tempted to reply like normal. Like nothing happened.

*replies message NORMALLY, macam no hal*

HAIYOH. Macam manalah member tak pijak kepala aku. Aku ni too forgiving ah, walaupon bukan hari raya. Agaknyer pasal next week good friday tu pasal aku forgiving. Ish ish ish.

Eh boleh tak siapa2 yang hobby die pedih2 tu ajar aku..
"THE ART OF MERAJUK" ???

KID'S jargons.

2006-04-07T01:00:00.000+08:00

Having left the ever so nostalgic primary school world for about six years or so, mixing with these kids again for just TWO days really relief those memories of childhood. Though i do have TWO primary school ~~pests~~ kids at home, it's different you see. These kids really tunjuk belang when they are in their own clan.

A "rendezvous" with these primary school kids helping them to make up their faces left with a few takeaways really worth laughing at. :)

Things they would say (when being made up) :

When their fake eyelashes have not yet been fixed to their eyes : "Kakak, bulu saya belum pasang.. "

When their hair is being fixed with those black hair pins : "Kakak, jangan cucuk kuat kuat tau nanti sakit ah.."

When their samping is too tight : "Saya rasa saya punya ketat sangat ah kakak.."

When their fake hair is about to fall off : "Kakak, rambut saya nak terjatuh.."

Now, if you realise, the abovementioneds are rather obscene, but being a sleepy zombie at that time, I can't help noticing it. Iyelah, sedangkan tak sleepy dah horny.. kalau tengah sleepy lagi harap maklum. :P

But nothing beats these lah :

"Mak saya kata kalau kita suka joget gelek-gelek nanti bontot boleh expire. Macam INUL ah, dier suka gelek-gelek sampai bontot dia expire."

Is that cute or IS THAT CUTE? HAHA.

Upon hearing that, I step lah kakak2 sikit. So I like told him off, "Eh kenapa ni cakap merepek meraban??"

Only to be replied with : "Eh betul lah. Kan apa-apa yang mak mak cakap kan betul.." -________-

AND to be followed with the ever so famous song..

"merepek meraban..
taik apek dalam reban..
aku berak kau telan.."

THANKS EH! Menyesal aku sebut "merepek meraban." :P

Also the boys, BOYS being BOYS, will meliat macam cacing panas when they have to put on lipstick. But in this scenario they have no choice but to succumb right? So, after putting on the lipstick for these naughty boys, I made them sit at one corner and kept reminding them to ensure that the lipstick does not get wiped off..

And guess what I overheard the convo amongst them??

" Eh kau jangan jilat tau lipstick kau. nanti boleh dapat gastric. Kena masuk hospital."

*almost faints from suppressing my laughter*

Interrupted with even more corny stuff like :

"AYOH!! Awak berbual pakai "kau","aku"!!!"

"Masuk hospital nanti ada pontianak datang duduk tepi katil bla bla bla.."

Also not forgetting the macam faham macam orang tua punya berbual..

"Semalam abang kite bawak balek girlfren dier. Tapi die tak pimpin girlfren die tau pasal mak kite ade. Tapi that time kite nampak dorang kat shopping centre tengah pimpin2."

"Kite tak suka ah cikgu tu. Die selalu kasi homework banyak2 and die ajar merepek2. Die asyik2 kasi kite buat correction banyak2."

" (A primary 3 kid) Kite ade handphone tapi kite tak boleh pakai banyak2. Sebab mak kite yang bayar bill. Kalau gitu, kite tak boleh ade boifren sampai kite ade banyak duit boleh bayar bill sendiri, jadi mak kite tak boleh kacau handphone kite."

HAHAHA.

SO TELL ME HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO KEEP SMILING TO MYSELF??

Kids are so fricking adorable lah I tell you. And I declare openly that I have a very soft spot for kids and babies. MACAM NAK GIGITTT....

Hai macam nak buat baby sendiri gitu. OOOppssstthh.....

Sing for Ab-so-lu-tion

2006-04-04T02:53:00.000+08:00

lips are turning blue

a kiss that can't renew

I only dream of you

my beautiful

tiptoe to your room

a starlight in the gloom

I only dream of you

and you never knew

sing for absolution

I will be singing

falling from your grace

there's nowhere left to hide

in no one to confide

the truth runs deep inside

and will never die

lips are turning blue

a kiss that can't renew

I only dream of you

my beautiful

sing for absolution

I will be singing

falling from your grace

I won't remain unrectified

and our souls won't be absolved..

I know some of you may find this song weird, but then again I am a weird person, so I listen to weird songs.

But one thing on my mind...

When will I find him who would muse me just like MUSE??

Oh anyway, aku dah delete ah seseorang ni dari MSN list. Buat sakit hati ajer siols. Alah, siapa lagik kannnnnnnnnnnnn......

March Mania!

2006-04-04T00:22:00.000+08:00

All I can say is, the whole of MARCH had been extremely crazy and exhausting. Physically, mentally and emotionally draining, totally.

So I'm gonna make this really quick and short and brief because I am the most pemalas blogger you can ever find (but I know you are dying to read my powderful entries :P)..and I basically don't like to rant and rave about my daily crass, like what I ate, where I went, what I watched, who called me,who I fucked lah etc etc. HEHEHE, YOU GET THE DRIFT?

I am uber pemalas like that,but I'm loving it and so are you. :D

Ok, so here. Few escapades in the month of MARCH:

Sentosa trip with dear girlfriends, my M.H.A!

(Be it Mother Hen Association or Motherfucking Heckcare Association, I enjoyed myself. And did my fair share of reminiscing those "weird sounds". You get what I mean. Hehh.)

MCC AGM 2006 - RETRO THEMED!

First time aku tinggi pasal kasut tinggi empat inci (tapi actually aku suka sembilan inci. WAH.), and skirt and headband yang matching tapi dah macam "Badan&Nyawa" dalam cerita Nujum Pak Belalang.

BANGKOK trip with my family

IT WAS A BLAST LAH OK. BANGKOK IS A SHOPPING HEAVEN AND I SO WANT TO GO THERE AGAIN. Bah, I'm in no mood for cheem vocabs to describe the whole trip, but it was fucking awesome lah. I wanna go bang-cock again! WOO!! Sawadikap!

Sri Warisan trip

Highlight of the trip : The Mr Bangla who sebok2 selit INTO our photo taking... when we actually asked him to take a picture FOR us. Now you understand why I am racist and prejudiced against.. eh NVM. Nanti kene masuk jail pulak aku. Kat dalam jail takda MSN ok. Mampos aku.

Birthday celebration with MCC clan

MCC gathering at East Coast Pit 27 which is fricking like TENGAH TENGAH DUNIA. But thanks so much lah, I really enjoyed my time. But this is another story for another day. Nevertheless, Happy Birthday to ME, DILAH, RIZAL, and ILLYA. Dah BESARR anak2 mak ni, especially Illya. OOOpppssssssttthhhhh...

Bowling & Seoul Garden with Adiratna

Ended off the strenuous month with a gathering with my lovely babes, ADIRATNA. Nevermind the fact that we are a normal and amateur and tak seberapa dikir barat group, but it's our friendship that's even more powerful than some bagus (or rather, ingatkan diorang bagus) dikir barat girls group. EH ALAMAK DID I JUST SAY SOMETHING LASER? HEHEHE. But I really had fun, and it really made my day. Especially so when everything was FREE. :P

HERE are the pictures, so you go figure. Some are still un-uploaded yet, but I shall do so when my computer speeds up. I swear my computer is even slower than my grandma trying to hafal the tepuk sepuluh lah ok. Fuck.

Well, besides the non-stop merayapings as mentioned above (actually there's more lah but you know lah how lazy I am), I had my fair share of emotional breakdowns. Sometimes it renders me speechless seeing how much, in fact SO MUCH can change within the span of a month. Penat tau.

Some positive turnarounds would be that I turned NINETEEN (ok lah still small fry, but shut up lah, everyone goes through nineteen ok.) and the most proud fact that I WANT to boast to all of you is that I HAVE STARTED DOING MY OWN LAUNDRY!! And most membanggakan fact : HANDWASH OK! And yang lebih syiok : I'M LOVING IT!! It's so fun getting wet. Eh, that sounds wrong. :P

On the other hand, negative turnarounds also many ah. Got me so emotionally drained, that the amount of tears shed can actually supple the whole of Singapore water in case Malaysia want to become stingy again. OOOOPPSSSS. I no need to explain lah what are these uncanny changes.. those who are close to me or not even close also can se for yourself. Faham kan what I'm trying to say?

Faham Kelana(siak jer..)? Faham studio? Faham di rumah?

Nak add in sikit,
confirm banyak lah yang terpegun/terkejut/terpukau/terperanjat apasal si itik bergetah ni boleh jadi begini. Jawapan si itik, jangan tanya pasal dia sendiri tak ada jawapan yang pasti, tapi kalau nak teruskan guessing kenapa, terpulang kepada kamu. Sebab kalau orang berbual pasal itik means itik tu popular dan hot. WAHAHAHA. Lagipun mulut manusia mana leh stop kan. Unless sumbat dengan bende sembilan inci........seperti pensil, roti, kayu. Hehe. Korang fikir apa ah sembilan inci? Ish, takderlah.. Allah sahaja yang tahu.. HEH. Tulah, berbual pasal aku lagi, sebenarnyer otak korang sendiri yang kuning tau. :)

That was a very brief overview of my MARCH. Eh, but I realise it's quite long and wordy huh?

Well, I may be Queen of Pemalas, but my BECOK-NESS never leaves me. :D

Oh, and on a lighter note, to my dearest senior Arafah, GOD loves him more than you do. But do carve a smile upon your face and soothen your soul upon the beknownst fact that he is safe in heaven and would always be praying for you and hubby. But I swear I couldn't stop tearing reading your entries. You are one strong woman ok. For a 23 year old like you, masyallah, you take off the hate as being the strongest young mother ever.

Go read for yourself to understand her plight. :(

It makes me realise that the things you love can leave you anytime without your will, and then the epiphany strikes me that I've been taking life for granted.

To late baby IQBAL, AL-FATEHAH.

LESU.

2006-03-31T02:36:00.000+08:00

I AM SO EMOTIONALLY DRAINED.

mother.

2006-03-24T05:05:00.000+08:00

UMI, i love you.

i really love my mother alot.

i just have to say this now.

iyerlah, mana tahu jap lagi aku mampus ke ape? dah tak sempat kan kan?

mesin tak guna.

2006-03-23T10:53:00.000+08:00

Aku give up ah try nak pakai itu washing machine. Susah lah siol. Banyak sangat butang. Aku tak tahu nak picit butang mana. Puas hati picit butang sendiri kan. Haiyah.

Jadi sekarang, aku nak belajar berdikari. CEDEBAH.... Jadi, aku nak cuci pakai tangan!

RAW IS WAR. :)

kehadapan si fulan.

2006-03-22T18:19:00.000+08:00

Kehadapan Si Fulan,

Saya tahu awak mesti benci saya selepas ini. Sebab mesti dalam kepala otak awak yang berjambul itu sedang fikir yang saya ini pembelot, penipu, mami jarum, mak kepo dan sebagainya kerana memecahkan tembelang awak.

Tapi saya nak awak letak diri awak dalam kasut SAYA. Sebagai seorang sahabat baik yang menyimpan seribu rahsia daripada sahabat baiknya itu sendiri, adakah itu dinamakan persahabatan yang luhur lagi suci murni? Apatah lagi apabila rahsia-rahsia yang disimpan itu membabitkan saya juga.

Dan tidak lupa juga dalam kasut DIA. Apa perasaan awak kalau awak jadi begitu? Apa perasaan awak kalau awak harus "mempalsukan" diri awak untuk seseorang? Dan macam-macam lagi perasaan yang mengusik lubuk hati.. Apa perasaan awak kalau selama ini orang yang awak menghunus seribu harapan sebenarnya melakukan sedemikian atas dasar terpaksa? Atau perasaan awak apabila seseorang itu cuba merubah cara awak tapi awak sebenarnya tidak ikhlas melakukan sedemikian?

Wahai Si Fulan, dengan apa yang telah saya buat ini, saya pasti awak akan hilang segala kepercayaan kepada saya. Benci saya. Meluat dengan saya.

Tapi, sesungguhnya saya tak kisah langsung.

Awak rasa TERTIPU kan?

Hmmm.. TERTIPU? TERTIPU?? TERTIPU??!!

Jadi bagaimana pula dengan si dia yang awak "TIPU" selama ini?

Kenapa awak nak sakit hati apabila awak sendiri merasakan racun yang awak telah bancuh sendiri? Iaitu "RACUN TIPU"?

Si Fulan, saya tak kisah hilang awak sebagai kawan. Saya lebih rela hilang awak daripada hilang kawan baik saya sendiri. Dan saya lebih sedih lagi melihat kawan baik saya dalam kegelapan.

Saya mintak maaf.

Yang benar,

Itik Bergetah.

(P.S : Dan saya gunakan nama "bergetah" kerana getah melekit bukan.. benda di sekeliling mudah sekali melekat dengannya.. Tak faham? Tidak mengapa)

rumah terbakar panggil bomba.

2006-03-21T23:31:00.000+08:00

Malam ini aku telah bermain dengan api.

Nak panggil bomba pun tak guna.

Dah hangus semuanya.

(lagipun aku ni ada sikit badi dengan para ahli bomba..)

shit.

2006-03-21T01:25:00.000+08:00

See I know my "happiness" is forever shortlived.

Just when I was feeling a tad happy, something has to happen to make me unhappy again. So much for thinking that I was happy.

I just don't know how to feel anymore.

rare euphoria.

2006-03-21T00:35:00.000+08:00

I am a HAPPY person today.

Thank you to the both of you who made me extremely happy today. The long talks I had with both of you made me realise that I am much loved and appreciated and needed after all. It feels so good to find people who can really understand my deepest sentiments and feelings. Life is hard and growing up is very painful, but you both make me realise that through learning life the hard way is what makes me unique and special.

I am a HAPPY person today.

Thank you for the movie, the sunglass, the topped-up ez link, the tomyam, the lamp shade, the roti boy, the masssage, the advices, the shoulder, the epiphanies, the love, the time, the friendship, the concern, the care, the everything. Nothing can explain this feeling of gratitude.

I am a HAPPY person today.

Thank you for making me realise that I do mean something in this world and that whatever shit I am going through is just part and parcel of growing up. Wanted to hug the both of you but couldn't lah. Afraid you both would wet yourselves. HAHA :P

I am a HAPPY person today.

Realise the many mentions of "I am a HAPPY person today"? Sorry I just had to reiterate on it because that feeling we call "HAPPY" is a rare feeling in my heart. It happens so seldom, that whenever it occurs, it is a rarity.

My rare euphoria.

tolong tolong!!!!!

2006-03-20T01:04:00.000+08:00

OMG I URGENTLY NEED HELP.

THIS IS THE MOST GREATEST HELP I WOULD ASK FROM ALL OF YOU ALTHOUGH IT IS UNDENIABLY THE MOST SORDID HELP ANYONE HAS EVER ASKED FOR IN THIS WORLD..

CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE TEACH ME HOW TO OPERATE A WASHING MACHINE!!!!!

well my mum has just decided that i should start doing my laundry by myself. urgh. :( and i need help pronto before algae starts developing in my lingerie and favourite shirts. :((((((((((((((

shambles.

2006-03-19T20:42:00.000+08:00

i'm back from bangkok. it was a BLAST. but i'm too lazy to update for now. but it's a fucking shopping heaven lah i tell you. i shopped till my breasts drop ok. haha.

i'd prolly be on a short hiatus. too many things on my mind.

i miss my... family. it's weird, i know.

sawadikap

2006-03-12T12:15:00.000+08:00

this is rabberduck live from the airport, blogging from the free internet from the computer terminals at the airport.

In a few minutes time, i'm off to BANGKOK!!

Going to shop till I drop, and really gonna get wasted there. HAHA.

And albeit the Thaksin frenzy, just wish me luck that I do not become Thaksin Beef Noodles..err, literally.

Take care people!!

:)

p.s: broken language due to extreme sex-citement

selamat tinggal sayangku.

2006-03-11T02:05:00.000+08:00

GOODBYE MY LOVER

goodbye my friend..

you HAD been the one..

you HAD been the one for me..

newton's law

2006-03-10T03:28:00.000+08:00

Let me begin my explanation of how Newton changed our understanding of the Universe by enumerating his Three Laws of Motion.

However, today I am only gonna quote the first and third. For it is the most relevant now.

Newton's First Law of Motion:

Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.

Newton's Third Law of Motion:

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

You see, Newton's Laws were created so that we can understad why the things around us in this complex world that we are living in happen and what causes it. Yes, it is very complex undoubtedly but it is very true and accurate.

It definitely applies to our lives too. Not only a mere apple falling onto the ground et cetera et cetera.

Still don't get my drift?

Try giving the laws some thought and maybe you would understand what my point here is.

Reality Checks

2006-03-04T01:07:00.000+08:00

Reality Check No. 1 :

Quoting a meaningful line from though local but a hitting a nail in the head movie I NOT STUPID TOO, "..I realize that HOME is only a place where I sleep and eat and bathe.."

Somehow it strikes some chords and it's saddening.

Reality Check No. 2 :

This entity is a MUST for those who are about time to do it. But it is no point doing it if your behaviour and attitude contradicts it all. And worse is if you're doing it just for the sake of pleasing someone.

And I thought being a hypocrite is bad, NO?

Reality Check No. 3 :

Time that passes is like a river that flows. The one moment that is gone can never be reclaimed. NEVER.

And the ambiguity remains why girls like to hold on so much. Why they find it extremely hard to forget something special that was once theirs.

In simpler words, what's over is over. Dream on. *slaps self*

The truth is always hard to swallow.

warning letters.

2006-03-01T01:16:00.000+08:00

My dear schooling friends, if you think that those warning letters flooding your damn inbox are absolute nuisance and redundant, wait till you see this!

See? I told you our education system is warped and trivial.

sudden realizations.

2006-03-01T00:25:00.000+08:00

Wouldn't you tell me that time really flies? But then again fly is an understatement. And so it is already march, just four more laps to go and it would be the threshold of a new thingy.

But the epiphany suddenly strikes me.

How about my secret plan for March? The one that was planned upon departure..?

Or maybe god has to wake me up and tell me that I am just dreaming.

Epiphanies, I should say.

*shrugs*

Nobody's Perfect

2006-02-24T10:46:00.000+08:00

A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walk from the stream to the House, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of it's own imperfection. And miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you. I have been able to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw. So I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.."

Moral:

Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life.

Blessings to all my cracked pot friends and I appreciate each and everyone of you. :)

interview.

2006-02-24T02:07:00.000+08:00

This is where I can fully unleash my gift of gab.

Wish me luck, people.

Counting to 9 am and my heart's racing.

a week after.

2006-02-22T18:19:00.000+08:00

Damn, just when she wanted to lay her eyes on him, beginning to elevate her heart from the stagnant state of giving up, he had to leave her for another country. To slaughter sheep, according to him.

Worse is, he is totally oblivion of her feelings for him.

Je cherche mon ame soeur.. mais pourquoi est elle si dure a trouver?

reading between the lines.

2006-02-22T03:27:00.000+08:00

you think i am depressed?
you think there's something wrong with me?
you think that i am always unhappy about something?

think you are so smart in reading in between the lines?

now, try deciphering this :

----------------------------------------------------------------------
_________________________________________

=========================================
_________________________________________
-----------__________________-----------------------------____=====================================

so, how was that..reading between MY lines?

are you THAT smart after all?

truth surfaces.

2006-02-20T02:32:00.000+08:00

Apparently, contradictions exist all around ME though i thought I was oblivion to it all.

But deep in my heart, I am dying to tell you this :

"biar bodoh tapi jangan bodoh sombong...."

runsing.

2006-02-17T00:47:00.000+08:00

1. Jikalau kita fikir bahawa yang kita tahu tentang sesuatu tentang seseorang dan kita ingat kita seorang sahaja yang tahu, rupa-rupanya orang lain pun tahu...

..di mana letaknya kita di lubuk hati orang itu eh?

2. Jikalau sesuatu kedukaan itu pernah meruntun jiwa dan buat kita betul-betul pasrah dengan sesuatu...

..bagaimana kita hendak mencari semula kepercayaan dan keyakinan yang telah hilang?

3. Jikalau kita melakukan sesuatu yang betul itu tapi bukan lah dari lubuk hati nurani yang suci tetapi untuk seseorang...

...bagaimana nak lepaskan diri dari keadaan ini?

Entahlah. Terlalu banyak jikalau..

Hidup ini terlalu merunsingkan, bukan?